The traffic signal on my phone video camera blinked at me like it understood every worthless thought I wasn't supposed to have. I propped it against a stack of publications, angled simply sufficient to capture me stooping on the carpet, hair cleaned loosened so it mounted my face the way I understand looks sweetest. My heart would not reduce. I kept murmuring to myself that this was for him, for my other half, the man I have not even met yet. A gift he 'd open one day, evidence that I 'd been exercising just for him.

I held the toy up to the lens, the thick-veined shaft shining with the lube I would certainly smeared around. My cheeks were already pink, my hand trembling as I whispered, "This is for you." Then I leaned in and let my tongue trace the suggestion, slow and worried, a little moan getting away before I can stop it. My lips closed around it, and I lowered, gagging nearly immediately, but I maintained going-- messier, louder, wetter. Strings of spit clung between my mouth and the toy each time I pulled back.


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